On the evening of May 16, 2003, I had just parked my car at a lot at the University of Maryland, on my way to my girlfriend's apartment when I received a phone call on my brand new cell phone (it was a Nokia I believe, and text messages wouldn't come into usage for about a year). It was my good friend Russell, a person with whom I shared very similar taste in nearly everything, including our appreciation of Keanu Reeves even if I might have liked him juuuuuust a bit more.
Our conversation was brief but I remember it pretty well even though it happened more than 17 years ago. He had just gotten out of the theater, having seen "The Matrix Reloaded" on its opening weekend. Russ asked me what I thought about "The Matrix."
"Dude, you know I love The Matrix," I said.
"I know, it was rhetorical. Well, never see the sequel." he replied.
"Really, it's bad?"
"Dude, Neo is flying around like Superman. It sucked. Don't ever watch it, it'll ruin the original for you."
And on that note, I never bothered to watch "The Matrix Reloaded," or "The Matrix Revolutions" because if they were as bad as Russ said they were, why should I even bother? There's nothing like having one of your favorite movies ruined for you by a very shitty sequel (which is why I'm still feeling really hesitant about "Bill and Ted Face the Music").
Several years later, I returned the favor when I told Russell to never watch "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull," by giving him two words only: "Dude. Aliens."
In all honesty, I almost thought about skipping over both of these movies for this project, but I feel like this whole thing wouldn't be complete without them so I bit the bullet and just finished "Reloaded."
Sadly, we lost Russ to cancer almost two years ago and all I want to do right now is call him up to tell him that yes, Neo flying around like Superman is really fucking stupid. I'm sure he would have gotten a kick out of that.
"Reloaded" and "Revolutions" were filmed at the same time and apparently could have been released as one movie, much like "Kill Bill" volumes 1 and 2, with the former released later that same year, but why release a four hour movie when you can release two, two hour movies and make twice the money? After all, "The Matrix" made a ton of money in 1999 and these were giant budget sequels.
Having just completed "Reloaded" I'm actually quite conflicted right now about how I even feel about this movie, so I'm just going to have to break this thing down the best I can.
In short, the movie takes place shortly after the events of "The Matrix," the evil computers are ready to descend on and destroy Zion, the last human city on the planet and despite a command from above him. Rather than follow orders and stay behind to defend Zion, Morpheus chooses to take his crew (including Neo) to see the Oracle again.
Meanwhile, Agent Smith (Hugo Weaving) is now some sort of "rogue" computer program who is able to replicate himself inside the Matrix which apparently also translates to the real world when he takes over the body of some guy named Bane inside the Matrix (no relation to the Batman villian) right before he goes back to the real world, thus controlling his actual body. Sure, whatever.
Neo goes to see the Oracle, who tells him that he needs to take down the mainframe by finding "The Keymaster" who is currently being held hostage by some guy named "The Merovingian" (which is a really stupid name for this guy). Neo and crew rescue the Keymaster, who when we meet him is literally making a key, there's a big chase sequence on a freeway and everyone we care about escapes.
 |
| So it's not just a clever nickname? |
Morpheus, Neo and the Keymaster break into some building to access the mainframe in order to take the machines down, the Keymaster is killed, Trinity is killed while trying to save everyone (but revived by Neo) and Neo meets "The Architect" who gives what feels like a 20 minute convoluted speech about the Matrix and human choice and other shit that should have been completely unnecessary to this aside from going deeper into the mythology of this world.
It turns out that this is actually the sixth iteration of the Matrix and Neo needs to decide between saving Trinity and saving the world. He chooses the former, they go back to the real world and all of a sudden Neo's superpowers translate there as well as he's able to stop a bunch of machine sentinels using only his mind, however this also sends him into a coma and the movie ends with him lying down next to Bane/Agent Smith.
THE GOOD
*SOME of the effects and action sequences in this movie are spectacular. The introduction of "The Twins" and their shapeshifting/transforming/turning into ghosts/werewolves/smoke monsters/whatever they are is pretty cool.
 |
| Double your pleasure, double the fun! |
*The freeway action sequence is completely over-the-top with cars flipping and flying everywhere, fights on top of semis, bullets flying everywhere, and a katana wielding Lawrence Fishburne. I'm guessing without seeing the final movie yet that this will end up being the best action sequence in all three movies.
 |
| Hope they remembered to get the insurance for the rental. |
*Monica Belluci as The Merovingian's girlfriend. Why a rogue computer program needs a girlfriend in The Matrix is your guess as good as mine, but I'll take any reason to cast Monica Belluci in a form fitting dress for any reason you want in your movie.
THE BAD
*SOME of the effects and action sequences in this movie are terrible. The first battle sequence of Neo versus a thousand Agent Smiths starts pretty cool but quickly devolves into one gigantic CGI mess. Most of this sequence was completely without practical effects, something the first movie feasted on and part of why it was as good as it was. Instead, we get treated to seven minutes of computer generated Keanu Reeves fighting a bunch of computer generated Hugo Weaving, and it was really, really bad.
*Some of the plot devices in this...ugh. The Architect is kind of stupid, but what's even stupider is there are still a bunch of people who are skeptical that Neo is actually "The One." Like, have you seen him fly?
*Speaking of flying, Russell was dead-on about this. Neo flying around everywhere is really fucking stupid. Neo uses his Superman power to save the day, by my count, not once, not twice, but three times. He rescues Morpheus and the Keymaker during the chase sequence; he flies away from the thousand Smiths in that fight sequence; he flies himself, Morpheus and the Keymaker away from all the Smiths and into the server room or whatever; and he saves Trinity when she's falling out of a building and catches her before she hits the ground. Wait, did I say three times? That makes four. It's REALLY fucking stupid and I hated it all so much.
THE COMPLETELY FUCKING WEIRD
*Yo, what the fuck is Cornell West, civil rights professor and activist, doing in this movie?? I was so confused by this that I just had to do a little research and if you care enough you can read the same article I found here. In short, his writings influenced the Wachowskis on this movie, so okay sure.
 |
| Sir, you are in the WRONG FILM |
*There is a very long sequence in Zion that is just a full-on rave. It's fucking weird, out of place, wholly unnecessary, and completely fucking stupid.
 |
| Party like it's 2199 |
*When Neo and Morpheus meet the Merovingian, he's sitting in a restaurant where he explains to them he's sent a "special" desert to some other lady, who eats it and immediately has an orgasm (we see this because the camera changes to "Matrix Mode" inside of her legs. It is completely fucking weird. Seriously, watch this shit and please explain to me why this sequence is in your movie.
I'll have what she's having!
And just a few more scattered thoughts:
*I read that Keanu Reeves made $250 MILLION dollars from the "The Matrix" franchise. I mean, good for him, but that is fucking crazy.
*Apparently, a lot more of this movie (and the third movie) make a lot more sense if you had played the "Matrix" video game AND watched the animated film, "The Animatrix." Sorry, but if I need to have played a video game and watched another movie entirely (a prequel, I believe) in order to appreciate your movie, you have FAILED as a filmmaker.
Box Office Information: Buckle the fuck up, this movie made $281 Million domestic ($425 Million inflation adjusted) and $457 Million International for a total of $738 MILLION dollars. For a time, it was the #1 R rated movie of all time, but currently stands at #4 behind "Joker," "Deadpool" and "Deadpool 2." The budget was $150 Million, so yeah, you could say this was a pretty massive success financially.
Rotten Tomatoes: 73% Critics/72% Audience.
IMDB: 7.2.
My Movie Rating: I'm torn, my first thought after watching it was to give this a 6.5, but after writing this post I'm realizing that I liked it far less than I originally thought. "The Matrix" could have and should have stood on its own, but that movie made a ton of money and it was inevitable that a sequel would be coming. I do feel like this movie certainly takes away from the original as I don't particularly care for or need the mythology behind all of this. The action sequences were a mixed bag, but relied far too much on CGI and less on practical effects, and there was just so much silliness in it, which is why I'm bumping this thing down to a 5.
 |
| That'll buff right out |
Up Next: Well, it's "The Matrix Revolutions," of course and I'm a little worried.
No comments:
Post a Comment